I recently took a break from social media, blogging, and newsletters. Not because I ran out of things to say—but because I needed to rest.

My daughter graduated from high school this year. That milestone alone was enough to make me pause and soak in the moment. But what really stopped me in my tracks was the quiet reminder from my own body and brain: “You need a break, too.”

As someone with ADHD—and a coach who supports other ADHDers—I know firsthand how complicated rest can feel. For many of us, rest isn’t restorative right away. It comes wrapped in guilt, shame, or a nagging sense that we should be doing something productive. And if you're a BIPOC woman with ADHD, those internalized beliefs often come supercharged with perfectionism, cultural expectations, and the pressure to constantly prove your worth.

The Guilt That Creeps In Clients tell me all the time:

“If I stop, I won’t start again.”

“Resting makes me feel lazy.”

“I didn’t earn a break—I didn’t even finish my to-do list.”

These are not simply time management issues. They’re tied to deeper stories—stories of growing up misunderstood, of being labeled “lazy” or “distracted,” of overcompensating to mask our ADHD and meet impossible standards. Especially for BIPOC women, rest can feel unsafe. We’ve been conditioned to keep going, keep performing, and keep holding it together.

What Happens When ADHDers Don’t Rest? When we deny ourselves rest, we short-circuit our executive functioning systems. Burnout, irritability, emotional dysregulation, and decision fatigue aren’t signs of failure—they’re signals. Our nervous systems weren’t meant to run on constant output. We need regular intervals of low stimulation to reset our attention, emotion, and memory systems.

And here's the kicker: resting doesn’t mean quitting. It means tuning in.

Rest as Resistance Taking that break—stepping away from content creation and letting my Mailchimp list wait—wasn’t just about time. It was about presence. I wanted to be there for my daughter’s big moment, and I wanted to show up for myself, too.

That break gave me clarity. I came back to my work with renewed creativity and compassion—not just for others, but for myself.

So if you’re reading this and wondering whether it’s okay to rest, let me be the first to say:

Yes. You are allowed to rest. You do not have to earn it. You do not have to explain it. Rest is not a reward. It’s a right. It’s part of your rhythm, not a disruption to it.

Try This: If the guilt creeps in when you rest, try asking:

What does rest give back to me that overworking can’t?

What kind of person do I want to be on the other side of this pause?

What would it look like to honor my limits as much as I honor my goals?

Because your brain, your body, and your joy all matter—not just your output.

Ready to Honor Your Rhythm? If rest feels foreign, scary, or “unearned,” you’re not alone. You don’t have to navigate this alone, either.

Inside Chaos2Clarity, our ADHD coaching community, we make space for restoration and rhythm—without guilt. Whether you're reclaiming your time, your focus, or your voice, you belong in a space that honors your humanity first.